his eyes implored mine so gently in the cathedral of the caves. candlelight flickered hauntingly as i felt sudden crashing waves. of clarity, of certainty, as he whispered in my ear. he said that he would always love me, then he slowly pulled me near. to the chords of hallelujah, i felt my heart begin to glow. then we were pitched into complete darkness as the feelings began to grow. i closed my eyes and held him, a soft prayer on my lips. that no matter where life takes us, this feeling never slips. i held it until we were standing beneath a golden beam of light. the light of eternal unity, slicing through darkness like night. they say if you kiss your lover surrounded by it’s heavenly glow, that yours will be a love that you will forever and always know. i’m not one for superstitions, but i felt that one deep inside my heart. it was a moment i’ll always remember and i’ll think of it often while we’re apart.
One should see a gynecologist at least once a year. 8 big glasses of H20 a day will do wonders for your skin, hair, nails and energy levels. Women aren’t usually deemed sluts for simply enjoying sex. Slut is a word for a woman who is ruthlessly lewd about how she goes about finding it and expressing it. There’s a big difference. The same goes for men, except they have more confidence about it, and we’re hesitant to question confidence.Though, it would waver if women were to stop crying about being called sluts and show men how they deserve to be treated. You will begin to see as you grow older, that we’re all just confused and searching for love the best way we know how. Ignore labels, they don’t mean anything. We’ll ALL fit many different labels in a lifetime. Your fourth graders will continue to grow and change. They will laugh, cry, make mistakes, find love and oneday you will probably forget most of their names and faces. That doesn’t mean they won’t be in your heart and you in theirs. Love isn’t complicated, humans are. It’s actually quite easy to tell if you’re in love or not, don’t you think? The complication is in figuring out exactly where and how it will fit into your life in that moment. You also need experience differentiating between different types of love. You will experience all sorts in a lifetime. Also, you need to know and love yourself fully first, it’s true. Love is a choice, you submit and compromise (let it grow, as it will or won’t), or hold a sheild over your heart (and never truly find out). Love is a risk, and that’s naturally a bit scary. If and when you sumbit and your heart feels as if it might explode and you feel a tenderness so powerful you could cry, I’d say that’s love. We are monogamous because when you truly feel that feeling, you are changed forever and you have found everything you need. If you still feel the need to look elsewhere, it may be love but not LOVE. You’ll just know. When you’ve found it, and when it’s gone and time to move on. Always trust your intuition and your next questions will be answered. Don’t obsess about them before they even happen, live in the now. Only you know the answers to the questions, and will most likely only be able to be answer them when faced with the situations. First decide what love and marriage mean to you, it’s different for everyone. And even when you think you know where you stand, a man may come along who suddenly changes everything. Life’s beauty lies mainly in it’s mysteriousness. How do you know something is true? You can’t, and I ponder this myself all the time. There are obvious things that can be ‘scientifically proven’, like that the sky is blue and we have brains. But when it comes down to metaphysics and how opposite our souls, which CAN’T be proven, feel to these brains, i think it’s just a feeling. THE feeling. The one that the soul gives that you know is absolute clarity and understanding. Which brings me to say that your last question is not absurd at all. A human body is but an organic machine that responds to the physical stimulus of the world that we live in. That’s one way to ‘feel’, but what about the other and more intense way? We can give people fake hearts and bodies, but there’s still something inside that can’t be changed or removed. When it is, that body “dies.” The part of us that dreams,that asks all these questions, moves into another dimesion. We could one day have enough understanding and technology to make our entire nervous and circulatory systems work mechanically with the power of thought, which is feuled by the feelings of the soul. So why not? Anything is possible if we manifest it. We create our truths and our realities. What might be scientifically proven as truth on earth, may not apply in another reality. Just because we don’tunderstand it, doesn’t mean we won’t, and that our world will change as we do, not the other way around. I think the point right now is for humankind to try and grasp that life and learning is infinite, and trust the flawlessness of the universe. Always keep asking questions and seeking new horizons, and all the answers will come.
there’s something you have to know about me
something that i need you to understand
i won’t be happy unless i’m dreaming
and for that, i will always take a stand
to lead a life that’s comfortable
doesn’t make any sense to me
when life was a gift meant to give
lessons that will set us free
i sometimes miss the mystery
because with you it’s always so clear
but i don’t miss all the questions
or that ever expanding fear
that no one would ever witness
the deepest depths of my life
oh, the days when love can feel
just like a double edged knife
it was the smell of timber burning
with a solid, heavy oak
the soft touch of a pale rose wine
so very light, fresh and sweet
as the breeze blew gently in
and carried the perfumes of autumn
they blended so beautifully and carefully
in a way i never thought i’d be able to distinguish
it made the moment even more delicious
this is a ferlinghetti poem, a poem that is an autobiography. i wrote it when i was 17 and it will always be one of my most treasured possessions.
*
simple honesty, pink
lips, trying hard not to
giggle; and here i am,
laying it all on the line
*
i have seen the winters
pass without question,
hesitant at the warmth
of sun, against a
backdrop of wonder
*
i have felt raindrops on
my face as i’ve walked
the champs d elysees,
felt the test of time wear
down the honour of
truth
*
stories told have a way
of making you wonder
what you would do if
it was you, and it never
happens to me
*
brought into a new
world crying, order is
disrupted, replaced by
a sense of flowing
peace and another
future is left unknown
*
tears may flow but love
is like the thunder that rolls
on across the prarie,
leaving the world still
and waiting, and i lay
under the weeping willow
still and serene
*
and accidents may
happen but the tension
causes life to crawl at a
slow pace, but at least
then you can see, and i
will never forget the
sight of a broekn heart
in her eyes
*
and i’ll always be sorry
and i’ll always be grateful
*
i have sang the
melodies of the moon
rising high, feeling over
and over the intense
high, of love that
explodes at times
unnecessary
*
the train tracks may
keep going, but i stop
here, yellow posies and
pink tigerlillies whisper
and hear my sorrows,
foretelling my fears
*
i’ve cried in the arms of
my mom, over broken
hearts and the cruel
words of peers, i’ve
held my head high in a
crowd of bystanders
who wished to see me
fall
*
i’ve sung on stage over
and over, wanting to
be the next idol, waiting
to tell my story, of
passion and persuasion
that i’ll never forget
*
true love has found me,
and a struggle of
beliefs has led me to
promise that i’ll
never let it go, and the hope
will never fade into the
pink backdrop of
my old room
*
simple honesty, pink
lips, trying hard not to
giggle;and here i am,
laying it all on the line
*
time may pass, as do
friends, but memories
of sneaking out after
bedtime are the kind
not to forget, and the
graffiti will still be in my
heart even after they
wash the bridge
*
the snow will fall when
i celebrate my birth,
cold hands and an
orange toque, a
snowman and the old
barn will always bring
me home
*
i have seen poverty
and destruction at a
close range, not
realizing it, but helping
anyway, life isn’t full
without compassion
and a sandwhich
*
i’ve seen many different
faces in the mirror,
when alone in my room
have felt many
emotions while
weeding plants on a
sunny afternoon,
wishing i could be
anywhere else
*
overflowing joy, the
sight of a horse and
the beaming faces of
the parents i love,
fierce determination in
the sparring ring,
where i finally found my
courage
*
nature is a beauty, and
i have seen her try to
bring me happiness
when it’s time to start
fresh and find a new me,
catching field mice,
only to set them free
*
long bus rides, arriving
home to a setting sun,
family dinners and
water parks, roller
coasters and
barbeques,
summertimes were
overflowing with magic days
*
laughter and giggles
will forever echo in my
mind, a happy
childhood captured,
remembered at the
mere thought of riding
bikes on gravel roads,
ditches of mud, and
a bad balance
*
life has a strange way
of throwing you curve
balls, and so do i,
second base soon
became outfeild, and
thirteen soon became
my lucky number
try as i might, failure will
come, auditions gone
wrong, sweet
intentions turned sour;
but i will still drink my
apple cider tonight with
a smile on my face
*
friends are precious
rocks that i would
collect from my
driveway, trampolines
and bats and waterguns
will link us forever,
even when it’s time
to move on
*
nine months, a new
best friend, curly hair
and a love for his big
sister, booboo and
love hugs, i will always
protect
*
and although i may be
free now, from the
rules of my parents, i
will never forget their
guidance, and words
written on the back of
my footsteps poster;
they carried me when i
was not strong enough
to hold my own
*
and oneday i’ll
do the same for them
*
i’ve flet the burdens of
distrust harp my soul,
gravel in my shoes as i
run away, only to turn
back at duck so i’m not
late for a supper of
hashbrowns and
cheese
*
my only dream was to
grow up, and here i am
strong willed,
passionate to the end,
too young to
understand, too
innocent to believe; my
dearest nanny we said
goodbye to, with a stuffed
wiener dog full
of love and hope
*
and i’ll always
appreciate how far two
dollars can get you
*
simple honesty, pink
lips, trying hard not to
giggle, and here i am,
laying it all on the line
*
music flows endlessly
through my mind, lyrics
and karaoke capture
my soul, telling a story
about the times i lay
on hay bales, watching
the eagles soar over
the golden prairies
*
a ten year old girl with
a voice for the world to
hear, and a new guitar
in hand
*
hockey stole a part
of my heart, although
hated at first with an
inconceivable
boredom; and now i
know i’ll always be my
brother number one
fan and best
concession worker
around
*
i’ve loved and lost, like
a messiah with their
faith, only to see the
rivers part as i make
my way, a butterfly with
simple things to offer;
i’ll always be there
to help
*
i’ve lost teeth to the
fairy with ladies
slippers for shoes, and
i’ve lost my pets,
watching the clouds;
confused mind of a
child, and my mom
bought me the movie
of a lion king
*
time will pass, changing of
the seasons, and
oneday this will all be
over, but the value and
worth it hold on my
soul will never fade;
and i will always know with
the memories, that i
am home
*
simple honesty, pink
lips, trying hard not to
giggle, and here i am,
laying it all on the line
it passes slowly but surely
that thick cloud we created
with the precipitation in our heads
the sun shines again, so bright
straight from your smile
and i bloom again
i can see your fear exploding
right before my eyes
i wonder where it’s coming from
i just want the sun to rise
at least i’ll feel safe then
from the shadows in my heart
it feels like my soul is dying
when i imagine us apart
i know you truly love me
more than you ever have before
but i seem to only see it most
when our hearts are tired and sore
two hearts ripped from two chests
four eyes burning holes so deep
i find myself slipping into darkness
losing my mind as you tower above
with your booming voice pushing me
as i fall down down down
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